Aaand this is why I'm a chemist.

One time, whilst in China, we were eating this vegetable that they had served us for lunch. At the time, I had no idea what the vegetable was, but I've since learned it's called bok choy and you can buy it at most grocery stores. This pleases me exceedingly, but I digress.

For some reason (which I may learn about at some point over the next year in o chem) this particular batch tasted a little off. All my girls and I were discussing how not-great it tasted, and I was sitting there, looking at Megan (my friend from p chem last year) and I said, "You know what it is? It tastes really basic. Yes." That was the end of it in my head, and I was so happy to have finally, after eating like half of our serving, placed what was weird about it. It tasted way more basic than it usually does. I guess it's more acidic usually.

Anyway, Megan is a double major in chem and bio, so she nodded and replied back, "Yeah, it does taste a little more bitter than usual."

Bitter. Haha. As soon as she said it, I knew I had used a unique term. Still correct, but the normal thing to say would have been bitter. And yet that word just did not come to my brain, at all, and I was totally satisfied at having thought of the word basic instead.

But you know, I still am satisfied with it! It just accentuates my working knowledge. Haha.

Moral of the story: bases taste bitter, and as a fun bonus, acids taste sour. Hence lemons. And apparently I will always have chemistry on the brain for the rest of my life.

Bitter.

But I'm only 22.

Ah, the Mormon culture. It makes me laugh.

School started up recently! My classes are pretty chill. A couple are pretty easy, one is totally a joke (unfortunately that's my criminalistics class, where I was really hoping for something a little more thorough than what I have) and the last one is a little intense, but it's interesting.

But. I have a funny story.

Last week I was riding the bus home on Thursday, and I saw one of my trek brothers, Daniel! It was exciting. We were talking and catching up, and he asks me if I'm dating right now. Which is not really a question I get very often, but I said, Not really. He asked me why not, and I'm starting to kinda wonder about his motives here... Is he going to ask me out? (The answer is no, he's not. He's just asking. He has a girlfriend in CA) But I didn't really know what to say to that, so I started rattling off something about not really having time, being busy with school and work, and then I decided to give a real answer.

Part of the reason I don't really date much is because most of the new guys I meet are Mormon (with the exception of my classmates, but that's an entirely different story). Now this is not a problem for me. I do not care if they are Mormon. What a strange thing for me to pick a bone with. Hey, I know I go to church every week and see you here all the time, you've probably sat in on some of my fantastic lessons, but you're one of those ones... so no thank you. Haha. That would just be the strangest.

However, it tends to be a problem for them. It's nothing personal, I know, and I'm not upset about this. But every time I meet a potential date, we'll start talking and he'll be interested and whatnot, but as he get to know more about me, he realizes I'm just not quite what he wants. Oh, you have tattoos? Oh, your ears are pierced? Huh. Well, I can work with that. Wait, you want more tattoos? And your shorts are how short? Tank tops, too, huh? Hmm... Etc etc. It's nothing personal against me, it's just that I'm not quite as Molly Mormon as they want me to be.

And I'm ok with this. It's up to them what they want, and if I don't line up, then I don't line up. And honestly, if I don't line up with what they want, they probably don't line up with what I want. Getting my tattoos was my choice, and if these are part of the consequences, I will gladly welcome it. (For the record, I'm sure not every Mormon guy is like this, but most of the ones I meet are. I can think of one guy who it wasn't a problem at all for.)

Anyway, so I told this to Daniel and he was so sad to hear that this is something I have to do deal with (which is refreshing, compared to the last person I talked to about it), haha, then he told me, "Don't worry. You'll find someone who's right for you."

Haha. Thank you. Only in the Mormon world would someone be consoling someone my age for not having found the person I want to marry, yet.

I've earned 12 credits!

I passed all my classes!

Unfortunately, you've all lost the right to know what grades I got.

• I have a coworker who was there when I found out what my grades were, and he said, "Cool. But you should try to get better grades."
• MJ gets a low C on her test that she's upset about, Chaelomen comforts her. That's ok, honey. C's get degrees. You're doing fine. I get a low C on my test that I'm upset about, Chaelomen agrees. Yeah, you can do better than that. Shame.
• I tell another coworker about how I passed all my classes and these are the grades I got, and he says, "Don't you want to get A's though?"
• My climbing partner asks about how school's going, and he always tells me I should be getting A's, otherwise I'm not really learning the material and I'm just wasting money on school (but I think he'd actually be... maybe not proud, but at least he wouldn't be displeased with my grades).

I mean really. Yes I can probably do better. But compared to all my past semesters (with the exception of my first and maaaybe my second semester) this is quite a drastic improvement! Especially compared to last semester. Dark times. This is a win and I'm taking it. And there shall be no more people to tell me that I need to be doing better, because no one else will know how I did! Muahahahaha

But I passed and I'm still on track to graduate in 3 semesters (+1 semester off in China)!

Well that was timely.

This is gonna be a relatively short post for a couple reasons. First, I have class tomorrow (not until 2, but I'm trying to wake up at about the same time every school day. so far, that's 7:30. but I think I'll change my alarm for tomorrow, because I'd like to get more sleep, and I don't want to make it a habit again to wake up to my alarm, turn it off, and go back to bed. that lead to some risky situations). And second, I went climbing tonight. I really wasn't feeling it today, so I didn't climb a whole ton, but good gracious. I can feel the soreness already setting in-- especially in my left forearm. It's making it incredibly difficult to type right now. You'd all laugh if you could see how often I'm having to retype something because of terrible terrible typos. Or you'd also burst out if you could see how much concentration it's taking me to use my left hand at all while typing. Haha.

Anyway. I've been to all of my classes now, and they are fantastic. I love them all. I love my teachers. Arson and explosives is not going to be nearly as chemistry based as I was thinking it would be, and I haven't quite decided how I feel about that. It'll be a fun class though, and I'm way excited.

My first week back at school has been so incredibly hectic.

Last week I went out to visit mom and dad one more time before classes started up and I don't have the time to anymore. It was really nice, we just relaxed and went out to a delicious Mexican restaurant-- yes. Mexican. In New England. Delicious. That about sums up everything particularly exciting we did. Someday when I go visit, I'll actually do some site seeing. But that was not this time.

[[Edit: I had pretty much ever detail of my week so far written out, only to realize how incredibly boring that probably would be to read. There's a bunch of cool stories going along with each of my days, but for how quickly I'm trying to get through this post, they will be much better served being told later.]]

Haha, so to sum up the super giant paragraph I just did away with: I worked Sun, Mon, and Tues, and I'll work Thurs and Friday as well. On Tuesday, school started, and I go four days a week (Mon-Thurs). Tuesday and Wednesday were loooong days. And now I'm tired and sore from climbing, and the week isn't even quite over. But, as a bonus, I have the normal 2-day weekend without school or work on Fri/Sat this semester (so far with work, at least). This weekend is the only exception: I have a quick meeting for a couple hours on Fri, but it will be fun, so I'm excited to relax and do my homework, and relax even more. And climb. :) Yay.

Alrighty. It's sleepy time now. I'll tell my fun stories later when my arm is less suddenly and ridiculously sore from climbing haha. Also when it's less late.

And for this, I will travel in darkness for what seems like days.

Goodness. I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. And not even for a good reason. I've just been busy with school and so obviously, instead of actually doing my school work, I've instead been wasting my life away on facebook and iwastesomuchtime and all those good old sites. And this post isn't even all that exciting, it's just one really really long confession. Probably not the first of its kind, either.

I think the biggest mistake I've made this semester (and actually it's probably the biggest mistake I've made in years, if not longer) was thinking, "Wait, since I'm still a chem major, none of these classes are actually important for graduation." I did just stop at thinking that. I believed it with my entire heart. If I'm only taking linguistics classes this semester, it doesn't really matter how I do in them. And I find the subject interesting, but I don't care about how my grades look, I just want to learn the material. And I understand the material fine, so what do I care if I don't do the homework. I'm getting 100% or more on all my tests, so skipping the busywork is really really ok with me. Yeah... Maybe if the homework was only work 5% of my overall grade, that would have been an acceptable thought process but alas, homework is worth quite a lot of my grade in all of my classes.

So that leads me to the end of this semester, thinking about what kind of a GPA I'm looking at this semester, thinking about how much effort I've put into my classes, and for the first time in my life, I'm actually really disappointed in myself. My grades have slipped terribly this semester. In fact, they've been slipping since college started, but it's been drastic this semester. And why? Because I didn't feel like doing homework because it would take up some of my time. Time that I wasn't spending on doing important things. I have actually chosen to not do homework so I could instead listen to music and play sudoku on my phone. And I'm really sickened to think of the consequences this has and will bring to me.

Recently, I've been thinking back to high school. There were plenty of things that I did in high school that I didn't actually enjoy, but I did them anyway. I did my homework well before it was due until senior year, when I started to slip just a little because I had a ton of cop out classes. I stuck with marching band for all 4 years, even though I wasn't enjoying it anymore after the first year. I spent 3 years working on my EMR even though I hated being an emergency responder. I woke up for early morning seminary almost everyday for 4 years but I liked seminary. Just not the sleep deprivation that went with it, despite being really incredibly ridiculously sleep deprived all the time.

I am amazed at all of the self discipline I had. I don't know that it was healthy to spend so much time doing so many things that I really didn't enjoy (I mean, at least 85% of my memories from those 4 years are during seminary, school, band, or doing EMR things), but I do think it was good character. And this last semester? It's embarrassing and shameful to the point that I actually don't want to discuss what kinds of things I did wrong, just because in the moment, I didn't really feel like it.

This is actually something that has taken a really serious toll on my self esteem, and I can name exactly why, thanks to an awesome church leader who gave me The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens when I turned 12. I currently still have that book packed from the move, so I can't remember the habit that addresses this specifically, but it compared your self worth to a bank account, and the "money" that you put in or take out is promises. If you keep a promise to yourself, that's a deposit and you increase your self worth. If you break a promise to yourself that's a withdrawal and it decreases your self worth. The bigger the promise, the more it effects you, but little promises add up quickly one way or the other.

I think a semester at school creates a lot of different promises that can affect this if you choose to let it (and I would hypothesize that most of us default to accept these promises). Each homework assignment would be a promise. Each test would as well. Study sessions, getting good grades, attending lecture, taking notes. All of this is important. Maybe not everyone thinks like this, actually, but I know I do. Some of these things are little promises-- lecture, notes, homework-- and some are bigger-- tests, projects, grades.

And this semester, breaking so many many promises has really killed my self worth, to say the least. But I think it's been good, in a really backwards way. My first semester at school I got straight A's. The next semester I had A A A B B C. That summer I had A B B. I took the fall off. I don't remember what my grades have been since, but I trust you can see a pattern. I've actually checked it in my transcripts and my grades have been dropping slowly but steadily since I started. The thing was that I never cared. They were always good enough for me.

I would call this semester, especially in terms of GPA, rock bottom. I don't have my final grades yet (I haven't even finished finals) but I do know that I'm not looking at something pleasant. And for once, whatever I get won't be good enough because I know I can do better. I'm better than D's and C's. I'm better than B's. As humbly as it can be said, I'm pretty smart. My biggest problem with chemistry is actually having to study a little and do some of the homework problems before I really understand it and can do really well on tests. It actually wasn't until I was talking to Chaelomen and he pointed out to me that most students have to study like crazy to understand these concepts and pull good grades that I realized I was so gifted here. I could have been a straight A student for all of my college career.

For probably the first time since I was a junior in high school, I actually feel like I'm gaining some self discipline back. I'm looking at my GPA and I know I can raise it to be a 3.5 or so, and I'm thankful that I haven't completely screwed myself over, but I wish I had known when I started college that I was better than this.

I guess with this change of heart, it's now about finding the silver linings. I've already royally messed up this semester, and with not hitting this point until finals week, there really isn't anything I can do to fix that. But I'm pretty sure that I at least haven't completely screwed up my financial aid, so I can still do classes next semester. Though this was the thinking that got me in so deep, at least I'm not failing anything I need for my degree (and there's even a vague vague possibility I won't fail anything). The classes I've done worst in during my college life are ones that I can take again to replace the grade. I'm not only excited for my classes and to learn, but I'm excited to do well in them and spend my time studying for them and doing the homework and really improving my GPA.

Right now, I'm really just grateful that I haven't messed up my future completely. But I've come dangerously close. I think part of the problem is that I keep forgetting why I'm going to college. Lately I've just sorta been viewing it as this thing I unjustly have to do because "a bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma" and I've really lost the desire to do well so I can have a career. To help combat that, I think I'm going to make it a point to go on more ridealongs. I've been on the one, and it was one of the best nights of my life, so I want to make it a point to go those as often as I can, even looking into other cities. That should help me get through the times where school seems like a long and daunting process.

I've also found the coolest of websites (more cool to me than superherostuff.com or great-salsa.com) that lists all of the crime scene investigation jobs currently open in the US. Just finding that and seeing the applications makes my dreams seem a little more real. And then I might also couple that with checking the salary it pays and looking at apartments in the local area I'd be able to afford on rent.com. Over preparation? Probably, considering I don't have my BA yet. But it's also some very real motivation.

Mm. Yes. To my core, I'm trying to become a better person. Someone with more integrity and intrinsic motivation. And I might be ready for this ride.

Life tastes sweeter when it's wrapped in debauchery.

Yes. Yes, Rocky Reads. Tonight, after the dance. I even have the review partially done and saved as a draft right now! This is totally happening.

But first!

Last night I remembered that the schedule for classes next semester came out this week, so I spent a couple hours looking through that, deciding what to take. I was planning on doing calc, analytical chem, arson and explosives, and field testing of drugs. Turns out, for no apparent reason and even though it's kinda like the lab for arson and explosives, they aren't offering field testing of drugs this spring. Which is kinda unfortunate, but doesn't throw me off too much, and I'll take it next spring instead (it's only offered in the spring).

So I was looking at what times all the classes and such are offered, and who teaches what, and checking out ratemyprofessors and all that jazz, and the schedule I'm going to try to end up with is not the most ideal. I was hoping to have Farmer for analytical both lecture and lab, but the time he teaches lecture is super late on TR, which completely messes with my work schedule now. I suppose I can change my work schedule; ask to work Mondays instead of Tues/Thurs, but I really don't want to do that, actually. I probably won't be working Tuesdays anyway next year (probably not come December, even), but I would really like to keep working Thursdays if possible. We'll see; if the lecture I'm currently hoping for fills up, then I'll go with Farmer. He's awesome.

Moving past analytical, there's only one arson and explosives class offered, and I'm excited for it, but it is so inconveniently offered at the same time as any of the calc classes being offered by professors I'm willing to take. Fortunately, I don't actually need to take calc right now. I've already taken it, and I got a D, which is not good enough to graduate on, but it is good enough to use as a prereq, so I can put off taking that until it lines up nicer with my schedule.

Unfortunately, not taking calc or field testing of drugs puts me down under 12 credits, and I'm kinda hoping to be a FT student. I mean, I only work part time. If I also only go to school part time, what will I do with all the rest of the time I have. :) Too overwhelming of a possibility.

So I started looking through some other classes, and assuming nothing fills up before I register for classes, I'll take analytical chem with Hill (who is also the criminalistics department chair) on MW, analytical lab with Farmer on W, arson and explosives on T, and then a couple random for-the-fun-of-it classes: drugs in the criminal justice system with London (who was also my intro criminal justice professor, and he's awesome) on TR and a rock climbing training class for the first half of the semester on T with a few additional Saturday classes/climbing outings.

This makes my schedule incredibly odd. Haha. But I kinda like that, just a little. I'll have class on:
Monday
    10:00-11:15
Tuesday
    11:00-1:50
    2:00-3:15
    6:30-9:15 (for the first 8 weeks)
Wednesday
    10:00-11:15
    1:00-4:50
Thursday
    2:00-3:15
Saturday
    8:00-5:00 (but there's only 4 of those, also during the first 8 weeks)

I'm a little concerned about how sparse everything is. Only one class on Monday and Thursday? Such a long break between several of my classes? In the past, this has not been a good indication of attendance. But I think knowing that going in will help. There's nothing like being caught off guard about something, and I know that it might be a little bit of a struggle to get there, but I'm going to try to be a better student (something that I've been working on this semester, too). Plus it's helpful that I live so close to the bus stop. There's a ton of stuff to do on campus, I can study for any of my classes, do my homework, etc etc. If I don't really feel like being productive, I can run to the 16th Street Mall for a couple hours, or go hang out in the Boiler Room like I did my first semester and watch TV in there. I know a bunch of people on campus, so I can meet up with them. Another nice bonus is that the classes where I've got particularly big gaps, I'm kinda really excited for.

I might have a 3 hour gap between drugs in CJ system and rock climbing, but I know I'll be willing to stick around for rock climbing. It also helps that that class goes for 3 hours, so we'll be doing a lot of stuff in that one and if I miss it, I'll miss out on a ton of information/practice.
I might have an hour and 45 min break between analytical chem and lab, but that will be time well spent doing my write ups and pre lab and post lab.
I might only be coming in for analytical on Monday, but I need that class and it's not ridiculously early, and it's not ridiculously late.
I might only be coming in for drugs in CJ system on Thursday, but I love that professor and I still think drugs are super interesting, and I love the CJC field.

There might be a lot of things going against me, but I've also got a lot going for me, so I think I can make the semester work out well.

Ooh, and this is what I think is coolest. Analytical+lab is 5 credits. Arson and explosives is 3. Drugs in CJ is 3. All of that is 11 credits, and I was kinda hoping to only have to take 12 credits, but adding another class meant likely having to take 14, maybe only 13 credits if I took a dance class (which I still might do if my one lecture fills up and I have to rearrange things, therefore making it so I can't do the rock climbing class). But, this rock climbing training is a 1-3 credit class, so if I get there and I only want the 1 credit, I don't want to do extra outside-of-class work or whatever, I can only have 12 credits. If I love it though and want to dedicate more time it, I can totally take 14 credits total. It will be nice, because rock climbing is one of my hobbies, and now I'm going to get college credit to do it. And another nice thing is that it's only for the first half of the semester, so about the time I start to get burned out on classes and I want to drop one, I'll be done with it and my schedule gets lighter.

Man. I hope this works out. If it doesn't, I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever classes I end up with, but this would just be the coolest ever.

You Shall Pass!

I had two midterms this week (both yesterday, conveniently) and they actually went pretty well, I think.

So I was always under the impression that I'm an introvert. For my entire life, I've always believed that. Until like 6 months ago, when I was reading a couple buzzfeed things that people had posted on facebook. One of them was something like "20 feelings that only introverts will understand" and the other was "20 feelings that only extroverts will understand." I read the introvert one first, and understood most of the feelings. Then I was curious so I read the extrovert one, and you know what? I understood most of those, too.

And that was when I decided people are probably not always one or the other, but have episodes of both characteristics.

That was also when I decided that I'm actually way more of a social creature than I realized. It's not necessarily that I'm an extrovert, though. It's not like I desire to go out and talk to random strangers on the street and make friends with people I just met at concerts or whatever. And I do know people like that. It's kinda amazing, a little. But I do like to spend quality time with my friends, both one on one and as a group, and I also like getting to know people who I'm around frequently. Like during class.

Which is what's been cool about school this semester! In previous semesters, I always had multiple classes with the same people because my science classes have a lab with them, and there's always at least a little bit of overlap with the people there. Plus, being in lab with people (especially chem labs, in my limited experience) is a lot of waiting around for reactions to happen. So also a lot of chatting with the people around you and getting to know them. With not having any science classes this semester, I didn't think I'd have that.

But oh, was I wrong. I have two linguistic classes this semester, and there's quite a handful of people who are in both of them. That's been really helpful with getting to know these people, because we have more things to talk about. Which has been good for class, because all these people are like, "Hey, we should do a study session for the midterm in semantics." And then I actually study for my tests (a first for me) and before they happen (another first haha).

On top of that I've got this one random kid, Dante, who I sat by the first day of semantics, and he was like, "Wanna be my sign in buddy?" and ever since, we've been study buddies and I even went over to his house to do my homework, which I then had finished well before it was due (another first!) and it made for a nice relaxing weekend with no homework obligations or procrastination. I was amazed. I might pick up that habit more often. Maybe.

Anyway, after semantics, I usually walk over to health with Dante and we talk, which then helps me get engaged in talking to the rest of the kids in that class. And in ASL, there's a bunch of kids who were in my ASL 1 class last semester, so we're all friends and we talk to each other. In fact on of them, I've noticed, will sign to me and we have like real conversations in sign language, but the other girls he sits by, he specifically doesn't sign to them. He talks to them and is super friendly and all, but if I try talking to him, he signs back to me because he knows I'll understand and we both like the practice. It's cool.

And all of that is how I end up studying and actually being prepared for my midterms and tests this semester. It's fantastic. I'm pretty sure (as I usually am, really) that I will pass all my classes, and that I did well on my midterms, and I'm excited.

PS, I hope you guys like how I came back full circle, there, to tie in my tests again at the end. Yes. :)


Oh also. Since I'm done with tests and such, I had time to read The Blade Itself, so I'll have a Rocky Reads up for that tomorrow, probably. :) yay! I'm a terrible person for ever writing such promises. Haha.

Let's Start Over

Well. Happy October! This is my favorite month, I think. I love the cooling weather, I love Halloween (easily my favorite holiday), I feel like this is the point in the school year where everyone's getting a handle on classes, so there's more opportunities to hang out with my friends. October is just a good month. Plus, on Halloween night, I'm going to go to the Ender's Game midnight premier! I am so excited for that. I hope it's beautiful. I don't expect it to be as amazing as the book (which, as I've mentioned several times before is my favorite book I've read to possibly obsessive degrees). I do expect it to be entertaining and well done. And I hope it captures some of the beauty of the themes in the book. I really really hope it's more true to Ender's Game than it is to Ender's Shadow. That's really, probably, my deepest desire there.

Can I just say that I really dislike that google reader doesn't exist anymore? It was such a convenient way to keep up with blogs, and without it, I almost forget that I have a blog. As evidenced by my lack of any update for the past couple months. But I've also been pretty busy.


Late August, I moved out of the house. I'm now living with my friends Alli and Trey, who are married, and it's been nice. We live in a town home that's pretty close to my bus stop, and not terribly farther away from work than I was at home. So that's nice. It's a ton of fun living with someone who I've been friends with since 3rd grade. We cook fancy meals together on the weekends when we're both home, and every pay day we buy pico ingredients and make that. It's a lovely tradition.

The only thing is that Alli and Trey are married and only have been for a year and a half, now. This is their first house together (they were previously living in Trey's parent's basement) and they only moved in here like a month and a half, two months before I joined them. So I feel like they should still be living together, just the two of them, enjoying that. But instead, here I am like, "I need a place to live, please!" Meh, I just wish I made enough money at my job to have been able to afford an apartment by myself. And really, if my job were full time, I would be making enough. But with such few hours, I don't have that luxury. Plus I'm also going to school, so. Eventually I'll move out and be out of their hair, and until then, I'm very grateful to them for putting up with me being here.


Speaking of school. I know, I know, I know. I've changed my mind countless times. Why believe me now? I know I decided I wanted to be a linguist. I said I was changing my major and going to be a writer or interpreter or book editor or anything, really. And I'm taking both semantics and intro to linguistics this semester at school, and they're really interesting classes and I'm good at both of them, and I love them both. But I just can't do it. About a month ago, I had a friend over and I was helping him with his chemistry homework, and it was so much fun, sitting there trying to help him understand, working out different problems with him. He absolutely hated it, he says that chemistry is of the devil, but I loved it. Working through these problems was truly fun for me. I want to go into forensics. I want to be a crime scene investigator. I just don't want all the millions of classes that come with the chemistry major and criminalistics concentration. Biology, physics, math math math math, and not a lot of the CSI classes.

I was looking at a bunch of different majors that are offered at Metro, just considering my options. How long until I graduate if I do this? How long if I do that? What if I major in ling. with a double minor in psych and criminalistics? What if I only have one minor? What if I major in chem with concentration in crim, and a double minor in psych and ling? What about blah blah blahblahblah. Basically, I was just looking at how many different ways could I go about combining chemistry, psychology (since I'm almost done with that minor), linguistics, and criminalistics. Not necessarily having all of those together, but combining any of them and seeing what it looks like. If I have the criminalistics concentration, I'm looking at lots of classes every semester until spring 2016, no matter how I pair it. But that's not actually the worst (despite me stressing how much I liked the thought of graduating in a year). It's not the best, either, but I like taking classes and learning and all, so why not?

Actually, I'm sitting here looking at my options, and I found that I can drop all the biology and extra physics classes and extra math and everything if I drop criminalistics as a concentration. If I take it as a minor, then I don't have to do the strictly conceptual aspects; I can actually take an arson/gun/explosives class next semester and a "drug testing in the field" class. I went and talked to my adviser (actually I don't think he's my adviser, but he was gen chem teacher and he's an adviser, so I talk to him) and he was helping me out with all that. I was asking about doing a BA in chem, then maybe having a triple minor in psych, ling, and criminalistics. He thought it was endlessly entertaining that I wanted to take so many classes, but as it turns out, Metro doesn't recognize multiple minors. They do multiple majors; you can have 2 majors, each with a concentration, and then a minor. So you can theoretically have 5 areas of study, but you can't do a double minor.

This means that I would want to major in chem, officially minor in criminalistics (since it would be the most helpful for the career I want) and then unofficially minor in the other two. Just take the classes because I like them and want to learn about it all. Which is a kinda cool deal, and a little bit what I'll do.

I'll do my BA in chem, minor in crim, and then I'll fill in whatever classes I really want from ling/psych/whatever else until I'm taking however many credits I want per semester. So I can still take Latin and I can take psychology of addiction and even do a ceramics class. I do have to take calc again (which I'm also planning on doing next semester) but I'll just actually be disciplined and go to class and pay attention while I'm in class. As a bonus with that, it won't be condensed into a summer semester, and I actually won't ever have to take any more summer classes. My classes will all be nice and chill until I graduate. Almost 100% classes I want to take and am looking forward to (calc is the only exception) and if I want to, I can get away with only 12 credits each semester. It'll be beautiful. But I won't blame any of you for taking bets as to how long until I change my mind again haha.


Just a couple other things to wrap up:
I think Sara and I are done with our Burger Rating Adventures. We've kinda decided that Five Guys is the best (my mistake when I first went there was not ordering enough toppings, but you really can't go wrong if you get your burger "all the way"). We'll definitely still have to hit up the rest of the restaurants on our list, but as for how official it will be? We'll take pictures, we won't give it an official rating, but we'll let all ya'll know how it was. This will just be a "when we get around to it" kind of thing, though. But until further notice, consider 5 Guys to be the best burger in the Denver/Thorntonish area. :)

Rocky Reads will continue, I promise. I'm trying to balance school and homework right now, but I have a ridiculous amount of free time where I'm actually just watching New Girl with Alli or on the computer. So I'll stop being lazy, and I'll go back and reread whatever chapter I'm on in The Blade Itself, and I'll get on that again. As a side note, though, I did go back and I started reading Game of Thrones again! I'm almost caught up to where I first left off with it like a year and a half ago. Which is exciting, imo. Books are so beautiful. Alas, I don't have a time line for when I'll get back to Rocky Reads. Maybe next week, but I've got a couple tests/midterms coming up this week and next, so no guarantee there. Before October ends.

Webs in the Making isn't forgotten, either. I know I haven't written chapter two yet, but that's because I'm not sure what I'm doing in chapter two? I used to talk all this through with my friend Ally, but our schedules are fairly opposite of each other currently, so we haven't gotten together to talk about that yet. I know what the overall story is doing, it's just figuring out whereish I want to take it right now and thinking about pacing and when to bring in other story lines (if I even do, because this is the novel I wanted to write, and if I put all of it on a blog, would it really be worth it to try to get it published? That's a real question, please feel free to answer it with what you think :) ) and all, so. I'll get together with Ally this Friday, though, so maybe I can get that up on Saturday or Sunday!

I feel good, though. I'm going to do all my homework Wed, then I'll have Thursday free to go grocery shopping and work, and Friday night we're going to play True American (which is a game from New Girl) and then work again on Saturday, and that's it for my plans. I have plenty of time to read TBI and work on my story blog and read more GoT. Life is good.



Oh, except when it's not. Feel free to skip this last part of my blog, I'm just going to sit here and complain about things that have not been terribly awesome, recently. My life is going well, and I'm happy for the most part, but things have been a little rough.

It's not that anything all that bad has happened recently, but. The other week, we had to put Maggie (the family dog that we've had since I was in 6th grade) down. It was really sad. She deteriorated really quickly, but I'm going to call that a blessing, actually. She was happy for her entire life, right until the very very end. I remember when we had to put Lacey down, and that was a lot harder. But only because I wasn't living at home anymore with Maggie, so she wasn't as prominent a part of my life. But she was still a good dog, and I miss her.

I also miss mom and dad. And Jack. They all moved to the other side of the country, and though this isn't the first time I've lived far away from them (ah, China. How wonderful you were), this is the first time that it's permanent. And it's not bad, this was not a bad thing to happen. It's just different, and something to get used to, you know? Getting used to phone calls to catch up instead of going over to the house and also bumming some food while I'm there.

But it's kinda a little more lonely. And there's people I can talk to about it; I have friends. Haha. All of my close friends I feel like I can talk to and it's fine, but I only really have 3 maybe 4 people I would want to talk to about this. Because I'm looking for a specific reaction. I just want a, "Yeah, that sucks," and then to move on and maybe go get some frozen yogurt or something. And that's not the reaction I'll get from most people if I tell them, because generally I'm friends with people who are more sympathetic than that.

At church last week, someone was just talking to me and he's like, "How are you? Did you have a good week?" and I was actually in a good mood-- I had just given a fantastic lesson-- so I replied cheerily, but still, "Yeah. Actually no, not really." (I did have to think for half a second. You know, just giving the standard reply, then realizing the standard reply wasn't true) and I could tell by the look on his face, that if I went on to tell him what all happened, it would end with his pity. Oh, I'm so sorry, here let me give you hug and feel bad with you and do you want to talk? Do you want to cry? And I'm ok. Really. It's kinda rough, but I'm adapting and it's just not the kind of attention I want. So instead of elaborating or telling people what's wrong, I just don't tell them. Haha. Eliminate the possibility for their pity. But that's a little bit of a lonely path.

What sucks most is that I've told most of my people that I want to. But the person who I haven't really been able to talk to about it a whole lot is the person who I wanted to tell most. He's just busy with his life, and that's not wrong of him, I'm certainly not mad at him, but it's hard. He has school to focus on, and he has a relatively new girlfriend that he wants to hang out with all the time, and he's kinda looking for a job, and he has other friends he wants to hang out with and all. And all of those are good things to have. He's really not doing anything wrong, and I don't fault him.

But he and I were really close once, not too long ago. We used to hang out all the time-- that was it. We were never anything more than that, but it was nice to have a friend who was so easy to get along with and for who the relationship was so natural. I've had 1 other friend that I had such a natural relationship with, and it was nice to get another. Plus, he served as a link to help me build friendships (which were almost starting to stand on their own without him being around) with other people at church as well. But he's just busy, and having this girlfriend, he doesn't need my company so much anymore. Which isn't wrong-- he still likes me as a friend, we still talk on the phone occasionally. But not for very long. I want to tell him about all this, but we haven't hung out at all since it's become a problem. The dynamic changed, and maybe someday it will go back, but it also might not ever, and that sucks, because he was a good friend.


The end. That's the good and bad going on in my life. But I feel good. I feel like things are going my way.

And we have a winner!

Alright! We have a winner, life-plan- and major-at-school- wise.

I'm definitely going to be changing to a linguistics major with a minor in psychology. Why? Several reasons:

First, and I can't really stress how important this is, I can graduate (with incredibly full loads, but with classes that I think I can handle just fine) in 2014. Yes! This time next year, if all goes according to plan, I will be entering my last semester of school. Wait, it's still June. I'll be working through my last summer semester. Still awesome!

Second, I really do like studying languages. Not just foreign languages, but English as well. You should all see my hardback copy of Ender's Game. It's annotated like nothing else with motifs, characters, word changes (like when Ender refers to himself as Andrew right at the very beginning, or the exact moment he starts calling Bonzo by his first name instead of his last). I once spent an entire Saturday morning trying to figure out the rules of Eastern Street Slang (from Mistborn) and how I could translate it to English and vice versa. Just for the fun of it. Same with my EG annotations-- that's not for class; it's because I can.

Third, I'm good at English. I'm good with foreign languages. And for this major, I have to take 2 foreign language classes above the 2000 level. Which means taking Intermediate French 1 and 2, and then being able to stop before I get into the annoying grammatical parts of foreign languages.

Fourth, look at this list of things I can do! Teach English. Teach a foreign language. Teach ESL-- abroad or not. Publish books. Review books. Write books. Interpret. Work for the government. Consult in law and medicine. Be an actress. Basically, everything I've ever even partially considered doing would be an option, here. Forensics isn't happening to quite the same extent, but I could still work for the FBI or something. And I really believe that I will go back to school and finish my chemistry degree if I decide I want to continue more heavily in that field.

Fifth, I don't have to retake calculus! What? Yes, that's a real consideration. Let's not actually call it a "consideration," though. Let's call it a perk. I would do it if I had to, but the fact that I can skip it is nice.

Sixth, I'm not an English major. And I like that. Linguistics, while being super soft, is still a science. It's studying languages and how they morph over time and change in different contexts (I might dare to say it's a harder science-- just barely-- than psychology). I'm super excited about that. If I wanted to stay in a slightly more "scientific" career, I could become a linguist and make hypotheses about language and test them.

I'm pretty satisfied with this. Another nice bonus is that with this path, I can take the classes I need in whatever order I want. With chemistry, you have to take gen chem before analytical and organic, and those before physical. You have to take gen bio before microbiology and genetics. All these prereq's build on each other so it's a really delicate order of when you can take what classes you want. There's still a little freedom-- would I rather take analytical or organic chem first, or both at the same time-- but with linguistics, I basically have two prereqs that I haven't done yet, and I'll be taking both this fall. It's intro to linguistics and a logic class. And then I can take every other class I need for the major.

I'll miss my hard science classes. I'll miss physics and chemistry and criminalistics. But if I miss it enough, I'll go back for it later. For now, I just want to be done with college and have one of these many awesome careers that are possible for me.


With that, I've added two classes to my "easy semester" this fall. I'm taking intro to linguistics, dynamics of health, ASL 2, semantics, and psychology of adolescence. :D 15 credits! Then 18 credits planned this spring (which I know I've done before and wanted to die, but this will be in a field that comes easier to me, so hopefully it'll be fine. but if it's not, I know how to drop classes and I can take an extra semester later. I can handle change farther down the road if need be), 9 credits the summer after that, and finishing up my last semester with 18 credits. Then graduation! In fall 2014! Whaaat. So excited.

Well. College it is, then.

I didn't get the teaching job I applied for. Lame lane. They actually didn't even review my application. I have a feeling that the jobs were posted for technicalities, not because they actually needed more teachers. I think they were probably waiting for some of the current teachers to get back to them for if they wanted to stay another year.

These things happen. It's kinda obnoxious, but at least I have a job now that I like. I'll apply again next year if it's open, and if I don't get it then, I'll just... stop? My praxis score is only good for two years, and I'm not about to dish out another $200 for a job I haven't gotten 2 years running.

As it stands, I'm taking 3 classes this fall. I actually had signed up for 6 classes (sign language, intro to criminalistics, intro to linguistics, a couple psych classes) but then I realized I wanted something a little more relaxed, and I looked at everything I was signed up for. The criminalistics class and its lab were both at really inconvenient times, so I had some weird schedule where I would have really early classes on MW, afternoon classes TR, and big giant gaps between classes everywhere. It was just begging for disaster.

Now all my classes are on MW. I'm taking dynamics of health from 2-3:15, ASL 2 from 3:30-4:45, and intro linguistics after a 45 min dinner break from 5:30-6:45. It should be lovely. That'll go Aug 19th to Dec 14th. And, theoretically, that will still give me enough time to write.

Speaking of, I've been reading a lot so far this summer, which is an exciting thing to say, considering I've only really been done with classes for a week. I finished reading the first three books in The Mortal Instruments. It's pretty good, perhaps a step above Hunger Games. I'm in the middle of Nightingale (72% through or something, actually) and it's interesting, but I have yet to realize what the main conflict of the story is. Unless it's just about Bron discovering his powers and having some girl problems. In which case, this is an incredibly lame book. I trust that it will get better as the series continues.

And then I'm reading a couple non fiction books-- What Every Body is Saying, which is fantastic and I love it, and Million Dollar Outlines, which is also fantastic and I love it. It's definitely helped me become a better outliner, but more than that, it's made me a much more critical reader. I actually have well informed opinions about books and writing in general.

Which leads me to two things. First, one of my friends suggested the possibility of me becoming a book editor, which would mandate that I switch to a linguistics major. I think that might be a kinda cool path. We'll see how this intro linguistics class goes this fall, and then I'll decide from there if I want to keep my major in chemistry or switch it, and from there I'll decide what I'm doing with my life. And second, I want to start a "Mark Reads" type thing.

I know I've explained what Mark does on Mark Reads before, but I'll reiterate here, just in case anyone's forgotten. Mark takes a book and reads it one chapter each day, then writes a review for each  chapter. He does the same thing for TV shows. He picks books he doesn't know anything about, and for that reason, no one can tell him anything about it. No spoilers of any kind. He makes predictions about the books, and it's fun to watch him experience these books fresh.

So I need suggestions! If I do this, I don't think it'll be quite a 1 day=1 chapter thing. Probably a 2 days=1 chapter thing. Maybe a 3 days=1 chapter thing. I'd like to start asap. The only thing is that I need a book to start with. I prefer it's a book that someone who reads my blog regularly has read before. And it needs to be one I haven't read before, and not in a series that I've read before. So comment with your suggestions! Don't tell me anything about the book, though. Just a title and author. If someone else has already suggested the book you want me to read, please please say that. The more of you that have read this book when I start it, the better. Or you're also welcome to read along with me and make predictions as I go.

Should it so happen that all y'all are slackers and don't give me any suggestions, I will probably not do this. I would just pick my own book, but that wouldn't be fun because I wouldn't know if any of you had read it before. And it's actually really fun to be able to read about someone else reading the book. It's kinda like reading it for the first time yourself again. Yes. So what book should I start for Samara Reads?


... Maybe this college path will be fun.

[[UPDATE: I changed the link that Mark Reads goes to, so now it's a post he's written about what he does. It just sums things up nicely and links you to some of his favorite posts he's written.]]

I think I'm having a mid-school crisis.

So I've been thinking recently about my life. I actually wasn't really going to blog about this (it just didn't dawn on me), but then I was looking through some older posts of mine, and there's one where I was talking about how I felt inadequate because I had a couple friends who graduated a semester early, and I didn't. I probably could have, so I should have, yet I didn't. And though I didn't really get a lot of advice on that, I'm hoping all you awesome lovely people who still read my blog will help me out anyway.

At school, I feel like there's this spectrum of classes that people can take. On one side there's the hard sciences, full of facts and right or wrong and true or false, and on the other side there's humanities, full of exceptions to rules and open ended-ness and subjection. I would guess that most people probably find a specific place on this spectrum where their interests lie, and then take classes that fall right around that place. I don't know this as a fact, of course. I don't have any evidence to support or reject it-- not even anecdotal evidence. It's just how I imagine things working in a perfect world.

However, the classes I take tend to fall on opposite ends of this spectrum. I take chem and physics and math, but I also take Chinese and ASL and music. The classes on the hard science end are the ones I need to take, and the classes on the humanities end are the ones that I take for fun. And I feel kinda really conflicted about that? I mean, I really like chemistry. It makes sense to me when explained properly. I have to put a little effort into it-- nothing ridiculous, probably less effort than some other people have to-- but I'm good at it. It makes sense, I remember the rules, I like the order things have. I enjoy being able to learn about how the universe works and explain what it is that makes a ball roll down a hill. I like being able to explain what torque is and why falling at terminal velocity feels oddly similar to standing on the ground. I like learning that you do not add water to acid and how electrons can get excited and release light when they return to their normal state. It's a challenge, but it makes me feel like I'm learning something and growing.

On the other hand, take the foreign languages I've studied. French, Chinese, ASL. I like them a lot, too. They come really naturally to me, and I don't have to put almost any effort into learning them. I continually find myself surprised that the people in my classes there aren't also finding them to be their easiest subjects. I like learning how different languages work together and seeing the similarities and differences between them all. Do the adjectives go before the noun, or after? Is the word order the same as any other language I've taken? How does the pronunciation of letters change from one language to the next? What is the culture like in the places people speak these languages? Where are these languages spoken? What makes France French different from Quebecois? How does the sign change if have my hands palm up instead of palm down? All these languages have rules to them, and there are patterns, but it's also varied. You can say, "That is a small ball," or "The ball is small," without changing too much, but making two different sentences. I like it. It makes me feel connected to the rest of the world. I have considered switching to major in modern languages with French and Italian concentrations. Except what in the world would I do with that?

Actually, the "what would I do with that" problem isn't really the problem. I know if I love something, no matter how remote it is, I can find something to do with it. And then I'll be happy and blah blah blah. The thing is, I love chemistry and it's already what I'm doing (granted, I haven't really gotten all that far into the program, but I love it) and I really really like the end result there. I want to go into forensics. I really enjoyed the ride along I did with the crime lab, even with how "lame" of a call we got. But I also really like the humanities classes I take. They're typically my favorites. I enjoy going to ASL more than I enjoy going to chem.

Especially recently. I said that chem makes sense when explained properly, but I haven't met a great deal of people who can explain in properly (I can think of 2 people). And if it has to be taught to me by someone specific, then is it really something that I'm that good at? Part of me says yes, it doesn't matter who you learn it from, as long as you learn it, but another part of me insists that it's not the same if I can't learn equally from many people. We're not talking about a slight preference for a certain type of teacher, we're talking about an inability to understand unless presented in a certain way.

So why not change majors? If I like the humanities classes more, I should theoretically like a life in humanities more than I'd like a life in forensics, right?

The problem is I feel like if I were to switch, I'd be copping out. You know? I mean, to me, chemistry is the more difficult of the two. It's not one that everyone can do. Some people just don't get it. And since I do, and I like it, I should pursue that, right? If I like it and I get it, I should take advantage of that. Modern language is easier for me, and I guess it's not easy for everyone (a difficult concept for me to understand), but since it's so easy, it's almost like I'm not really learning. Right? Like it doesn't present a proper challenge, so it'd be a waste of my abilities-- especially if I choose to do this after already doing chemistry. It's like I was doing chemistry, and it became too hard for me, so I had to do something easier. If I change now, then I must not be as good as I previously thought I was, because I couldn't handle a chem degree.

And I don't think that it's true that I can't handle a chem degree. I think I totally can. But I think I would have a lower GPA than if I had a modern language degree. Not a bad GPA, but I think we're talking about the difference between a 3.2 and a 3.9. But people wouldn't actually know that. They'd just know I switched from something hard to something easier.

Also, whenever people are like, "What are you studying?" I say, "Chemistry with a criminalistics concentration and a minor in psychology," and they're like, "Wow, you must be really smart!" which is an awkward thing to hear, but I like it anyway. I mean this is the most humble way I can say it haha, but I am pretty smart, and I'm glad that what I'm doing shows that. If I changed and people were like, "What are you studying?" and I said, "Modern languages with concentrations in French and Italian," they'd probably respond with, "Oh, that's really interesting!" which would still be a good response, but it doesn't showcase my abilities. Like it's not obvious that I have a brain if that's all I'm doing. It's still cool, but it's not up to par.

And what would I do with that? Probably nothing specifically, besides be cool. I'd probably go with life plan number 7 and become a writer (minus the transfer to BYU for a semester... probably).

I guess my problem is that I kinda want to pursue this new path, but I don't feel like it's good enough. I feel like I should do better. And I either want someone to convince me that I still want to be on the path I'm on, or I want someone to convince me that this new path is just as good of a choice as what I'm doing now, if not better. That might all be a tall order, but I need help. I'm stuck. D:

The flashing lights have got a hold on me.

Well I feel like a slacker. Or actually, no I don't. I feel productive. But my productivity is making me not very blog-ish. Sad. But I'm still alive! And planning on doing math soon to figure out what all of the new scores for all the restaurants we've rated are. And then we'll start up burger-rating adventures again. Mmm. I miss those...

But classes are going well!

I've got psychopharmacology, which is really interesting. Drugs are still awesome. I have to read up on the drug GHB (date rape drug) for a presentation and paper. If anyone has ideas for sources, that'd be fantastic.

I used to have intro to philosophy, but the teacher seemed to have one goal for the semester: to piss all of us off. Super lame. So I dropped it and picked up intro to music, which will fulfill the same gen ed requirement. It's really cool, I enjoy that class. It's a lot of classical music, which I don't usually listen to but it's interesting anyway.

ASL is also really cool. I quite like it. There's actually a new girl we just hired at work who has 2 deaf kids, so she knows sign language and we practice when we talk at work. So fun.

Analytical chem is pretty cool, too. It seems like a lot of review of things from gen chem, just in more detail, but that's a good thing, because I had no idea what was going on in gen chem two.

Intro to sociology is interesting? I really like the textbook and reading it. It's really interesting. But I'm not in love with the actual class. The teacher is kinda cool, but the textbook is waaay more interesting than the lecture material. Which is confusing, because shouldn't it be the same material?

And my last "class" is analytical chem lab, which is mostly waiting for things. Like, waiting for the crucibles to be heated (a process that takes several hours) and waiting in line to use the Atomic Absorption thing. It's not too bad, though, because there's some cool people in my class, and I like talking to them.

Work is also going really well. I've already been there for 6 months, which totally blows my mind. It's the longest I've ever held a job before, actually. And I plan to stay forever! We've been really busy this year. The beginning of the year is usually the busy season for rec centers/gyms because everyone has New Year's resolutions to go to the gym more, but my boss has actually shown me the numbers, and this is the busiest year we've had in like 5 years or something. It's been a little stressful, but in a good way. I love all the people I work with, too. They're all really cool and easy to talk to, which really makes the day go by much faster. And it's still way fun to teach the climbing classes I'm in charge of. I love it. Such a great job. :)

And climbing is going pretty well. I've finally persuaded one of my friends to come climbing with me 2-3 times a week, which has been really fun, and I can see that I've improved already. I can climb 2 of the 5.6's we have at work, and there's just this one spot where I get stuck on our last 5.6, but I'm working to get around it. I think when Ally (the friend I convinced to climb with me) and I go climbing tomorrow, I'll try one or two of our 5.7's (there's four of those, and one of them is on the same wall as the 5.6 that I'm getting stuck on, so I don't think it'll be the one I try).

That's about it for my exciting news. Still looking at moving out in May/June with a couple roommates. I turned 21? That's kinda exciting I guess. But yes, that's my life for the past couple months. Everything's well, just busy! I'll try to get up new restaurant ratings soon, possibly this weekend. My schedule doesn't look too ridiculously busy. Yet...

Education is the kindling of a flame

not the filling of a vessel. -Socrates.

Blogger just asked me to make a new blog. Like, not a new post, a new blog. I barely keep up on one, as it is. But thanks for the offer, blogging gods.


You know what's really exciting? The classes I signed up for next semester. Yes, it's official, I am a full time student again. I was actually supposed to take this semester off, but I've somehow managed to instead end up with 17 credits. This can't end poorly, right? Right. Especially since I'm taking the summer off. And all my classes are going to be awesome.

Not only do my classes all sound awesome, but the teachers for each of my classes have really really fantastic scores on ratemyprofessor. Except my chem teachers. They have scores that range from average to pretty good. But I have a friend who's taking classes with them, and he says they're awesome, so that's hopeful.

I'll be taking analytical chem and its lab and sign language, as mentioned before. Additionally, though, I'll take intro to philosophy, intro to sociology and psychopharmacology.

Analytical chem goes toward my major, intro to philosophy will cover a couple of the gen ed credits I need, ASL is because I love foreign languages, and intro to sociology is to help persuade me to not ditch analytical chem. And psychopharmacology should go towards my minor. The psych department does this thing where they're really open about what classes you can take to get your degree. With most programs, you have to take x y and z classes, but with psych, you can choose whatever classes you want to take, depending on what you want to do with your degree. If you want to do research, then you take classes that you think will help you learn about that-- probably you'll want stats and a bunch of research methods classes. If you want to do clinical work, you'll probably end up taking clinical theory, and abnormal psych, theories of personalities, etc. The point is that you choose which classes you want to take, and so many of them have to be upper level classes, and there's two that you must take-- intro, and stats.

Psychopharmacology sounds like such a cool class. Really perfect for me-- drugs were always my favorite part of health class, and for a couple years when people asked me what I wanted to do for a living, I told them I wanted to be a forensic toxicologist. I still have not ruled out that possibility, just now when people ask, I don't try to pretend like I know everything about the area I'm going into and I give them a more general answer. The thing with this class, though, is that it's not on the list of classes I can take for my psych minor. But I don't know why the psych department would offer a class that doesn't count toward their minors, so I think it should probably still work out for me. I'll talk to one of the advisers there and see what the say. And if it won't go toward my minor, then I'll just be taking it for fun.

It's a pretty sweet schedule. And pretty early. I go MTWR. MW, I start off with psychopharmacology at 8 am, then intro to philosophy 15 minutes after, and sign language 15 minutes after that. On Wednesdays I also have analytical chem lab 45 minutes after sign language-- enough time for a lunch break!

That, for a while, left only analytical chem on TR at 8 am. And Metro is about an hour commute away. So I had a two hour commute for a one hour class. Which would involve me leaving at 7 am. I could already see the problems I would have convincing myself it would be worth it go to, and since analytical chem is not really a class I want to find myself ditching, I decided to add a second class on TR that starts 15 min after chem is over, and that would be my intro sociology class.

On Mon I get home by 1, on TR I get home by noon, and on Wed I'm home by 6. Not a bad schedule, if you ask me. I think it will go much smoother than last time I tried to take 17 credits because 1- my class times don't change drastically from day to day (it was hard having day classes on MW and night class T and then all afternoon and night R), 2- I'm really really interested in all of my classes; none of them are classes I'm grudgingly taking, and 3- Foreign languages come pretty easy to me, and I'm already semi decent at sign language, and since this is sign language 1, a lot of things we'll be going over I already have a head start on-- alphabet, numbers, colors, family members-- so it won't be like doing 17 credits of work every week. Maybe it'll be closer to 15?

Yay for classes and being excited to take them!

This is exactly why it's just better to never prepare.

I am having such a hard time concentrating on anything today. I started writing this like an hour ago and just sat here being distracted by facebook and youtube. Not as bad as leaving something in my drafts for months, right Chaelomen? Shinobi?


So remember that one time when I said I was going to take a year off of school? Haha. I love the lies.

Metro is considering changing the requirements for a chemistry degree with a criminalistics concentration. I don't know what all they'll change, but I've heard definite word that they're going to have some different classes changed out. This doesn't actually mean too much for me, as long as I stay an active student at school. And to stay an active student at school, I just can't take more than 2 consecutive semesters off of school. If I do, then I'm considered a drop out and I have to reapply to the school to get in. Metro has an open-enrollment policy (so anyone who's over 20 just has to apply and they're accepted in), so there wouldn't be any terrible effects from me taking the full year off school.

But if I take off a full year, and they decide in that time to change the requirements of my degree, I'm now forced to abide by the new requirements. If I stay active the entire time, then I can choose whether I want to switch to the new requirements or stick with the old ones that I started out with. Which is a nice choice to have, because what if half the classes I've already taken aren't on the new list? I would really hate for all those classes to have gone to waste.

The odds of that happening are really really slim, though. If they do change the requirements before fall of 2013 (when I was originally planning on going back), it probably won't affect any of the classes I need to take for my major. It's just a guess, but I'm pretty sure gen chem, intro to criminal justice, physics, and intro to ethics will all still be required. Actually, ethics might not be. But it would be nice if they took calculus off the list, that way I wouldn't have to retake it before I graduate (the D I got in that class is good enough to let me take classes I needed it as a prereq for, but not good enough to graduate with. So as long as it's listed as one of the classes I need for my degree, I have to retake it).

My point being that I haven't taken many classes that they would randomly decide to not require for the degree, but it will still be nice to have the option to choose which set of requirements I want to use. So maybe a month ago, I decided to take sign language this upcoming spring semester. I would technically be going to school, but I actually already know a decent amount of signs, so it wouldn't be too hard or anything. It would just be a fun class to take to keep my status as active, and only taking one class would still make it kinda feel like I was taking the semester off of school.

Well a couple of days ago I was going to register, and I remembered that next fall I actually really wanted to take physical chem, and intro to criminalistics, but I can't take either until I take analytical chem. I meant to take analytical chem like a solid year and a half ago, but the classes always kept filling up before I could get them. So now that I have junior status and can register earlier than I've ever been able to before, it would be really wise to take it now. Then I can have an awesome fall semester! Plus, it's been a while since I've been in a chemistry class and I miss it.

I'm only taking those two classes (8 credits, 3 for ASL, 3 for a chem, 2 for lab), so it should still be  pretty nice semester, and a good transition into school again. Hopefully I can take p chem, o chem, and intro to criminalistics in the fall. To prevent future burning-out, I think I will not ever take a summer class again. Haha. Keep that semester off.

But yes. That is the story of how I planned to take off a year and then managed to mess that up and all of the plans I had going along with my year off. Maybe I should stop trying to make long-term plans since I always seem to change my mind about them.


Also, everyone remember that there's another blog down there. vvv (those are supposed to be arrows)
I need everyone to go read it and help me!

At least it's a start.

I just went through all of my head teacher's blogs from when we were in China (she's Annalisa on the side bar, there, in case you want to run through and look at some pictures that I didn't ever post. It used to have the wrong URL, but I fixed that). I thought it might help me come to a decision about going back to China or not.

It definitely made me remember missing China and the awesome memories I made there with my friends. Made me want to go back and make new memories, get more friends, and change more lives.

Then, Jack (my dog) came and sat on my lap and was just being adorable in general. As he always is. And that reminded me of all the things that I would miss about being here if I left. I'm just not quite sure yet. I hate that this has been plaguing me for so long. One day, plan A will seem 100% right. Then the next day, I wonder how I ever thought going through with plan A was a legit option, when clearly plan B is where it's at. And more often than not, both options seem right and wrong at the same time.

Oh well. I'll get the answer eventually. I know it.

I have decided that I will make it through the last 4 weeks of school. That's 12 classes in total. I don't know how well I'll do, but I once found a quote that said, "I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." For a long time, it was something I incorporated in my life, but the past couple weeks, I've been deciding it would be ok if I gave up this one time with my summer class (calc 1). I just decided the circumstances would allow for it.

Now (and I'm sure this is largely because I'm not being allowed to drop it), I realize that this is still a concept I want to be prevalent in my life. Even if I don't get a passing grade, I will have at least attempted. I will have gone through with it all. I will have given it my best. So a pre-thanks to Dad and Mom for making me stick through it, as much as I hate it now.

I also decided that I am just way too unexcited for classes. Which makes no sense because I love school. It's a natural feeling with me. I can't remember any school year that started where I wasn't excited to be back, learning more, making more friends, having new teachers. It's just always been my thing. But I wasn't excited for classes this summer semester, and I'm not excited for them this fall. So in order to give myself a break so I can realize what I'm missing, I'll be taking one full year off after summer semester ends. (Ha. Surprise, mom and dad!)

I figure, this fall is the semester that I agreed to start paying for my own education, but I'm not really in a financial place to do so, yet. And though I am sure they'd be willing to continue to help me out, I'm not excited about classes anymore (as stated above). And I should be. I don't want to go to college because I've graduated from high school and that's what I'm supposed to do. I want to go because I love learning and I want to continue pursuing an education so I can help change the world. I am sure I will gain this passion back if I only have some time off.

So, current path I'm walking in life:

-finish summer semester.

-take off fall 2012/ spring 2013/ summer 2013. In this time I will work, read, write, and possibly live in China, where I'll teach teachers, read, write and be awesome. Of course.

-sign up for my awesome classes in fall 2013. :)

Still so much is unknown right now, but I'm getting somewhere.

What if I'm such a nerd, I'd miss classes?

You know what I really aspire to do?

To just stop going to school for a couple years and instead work for a while (obviously not in my career) and write stories. And I'd go back to school and get my degree by the time I'm 30. Then I could teach chemistry in high school part time and do my forensic stuff part time, as well.

I've already been going to school for 4 semesters, and I'd start junior status when I started up again. I could have 6 years of freedom, and then spend 2-3 more years at school, and be graduated by the time I'm 28 or 29. 6 years! Think of all the stories I could write. Think of the places I could go and the things I could do. And if I got bored with that life, it's not like school is going anywhere. I could always go back.

Meanwhile, with my job, I could be saving up money to pay for college, and when I finally did go back, it would be 100% because I wanted to be back at school. 100% because I want to go places with my life, instead of doing it because it's what you're supposed to do after high school. Admittedly, that's not the only reason I'm at school now, but it's sure one of them. An increasingly prominent reason.

Just something I've been considering for a few months.

That was dangerous...

But I got it! Danger pays.

So remember waitlisting? And how, if you're at the top of a waitlist and a spot opens up, you'll get an email and you have two days to respond and go register for your class. And if you don't register for it in time, you get kicked off the waitlist, and you have to re-waitlist or just give up on getting that particular class.

Well, I'm sitting here reading Well of Ascension, and I realize that I haven't checked my school email since Sunday (so it's been two days), and usually I don't worry so much about it, but I stopped reading right there, and I ran downstairs to open my computer and check. And I had an email! Sent Sunday after I checked my email last. It told me that a spot opened up in my ochem lab. I was right on the edge of being kicked off the list, so I went to register for it really quick.

But when I tried to register, a notification thing popped up and it's like, "Prereq/test score error," which means that there's some other class I have to take before or at the same time as this class. My guess (and this happened to me earlier, which is why I couldn't just sign up for this class in the first place and had to waitlist it at all), is that because I'm waitlisted for ochem lecture, and not actually signed up for it, my schedule is confused and won't let me take lab without lecture.

So I'm sitting here freaking out-- I'm so close to getting this class-- and I try signing up for another o chem lecture that I'll just drop once I get into my actual lecture. But then another notification pops up telling me I can't sign up for the same class twice in a semester. Rude. I try to submitting the registration of my lab like 5 times. Go figure, it still didn't work.

I did a quick google search and found the chem department's phone number and called the office. Classes are over, actually, so I wan't really sure that anyone would answer the phone, but someone did and I told her of my dilemma. And she got me put in the class anyway. :) :) :)

I'm so happy. I only have one class waitlisted now, and it shouldn't be a problem at all once a spot opens up there. Hooray! :D

You know I love you, but you might be the death of me.

I'm of course referring to school.

Another semester is finally over! :) I really do love going to school and learning things and understanding a little bit more about the world, but man. I do tend to get burned out toward the end of each semester. The good news, though, is that I lasted way longer this semester than I did the other spring. It wasn't until the last 3 weeks or so of class that I was done this semester (versus the last 3 MONTHS or so back in sp2011 ha), so that's definitely a step in the right direction.

So does everyone remember my time conflict problems with classes this summer? I got it all worked out, sorta. I went in and talked to my calculus professor and asked him if it would be ok if I missed up to, but not necessarily, 20 minutes of class every Monday. He was fine with it, so I filled out a time conflict paper, and got it all signed off by a ton of people. So I'm currently signed up for analytical chem lab-- MW 9:00-12:50-- and calculus 1-- MTR 12:30-2:45.

Unfortunately, the only analytical lecture class that's offered this summer filled up way before I could take it. I may have already mentioned that, I'm unsure. Regardless, I went to the chemistry department and filled out some form online to request another analytical lecture, and additionally, I waitlisted the one they currently have.

Now waitlisting didn't used to be a problem for lecture classes. You would pretty much just chill out in the class, not officially a student in it, until enough people dropped the class that you got absorbed in, and then you pay tuition for it and everything and get officially into the class. But last semester, they changed the rules of waitlisting. So now you have until either the 2nd class or the 2nd week to get absorbed into a class, or else you get dropped from it. The end. You just have to take it some other semester.

So right now with only 3 and half weeks max before I have to get absorbed into this lecture, I'm looking at waitlist position number 7. My odds aren't terrible for getting in, but they could certainly be better (like my o chem classes this fall. I'm number one on both of those, so I'm nearly positive I'll get in). It might be worth it to stick it out and try to get this class, but I'm not actually sure if I want to.

Right now, I'm looking at 9 credit hours this summer if I get the analytical chem lecture class. And I'm just not really sure I want to take that many classes this summer. The reason I had signed up for all of them was so I could take survey of p chem and intro to criminalistics this fall. Those both sound totally awesome and everything, and I'm really excited to take them, but the main reason they were so important to take this fall, was because they were prereqs for some other classes, which if I don't take when I currently plan to take them, I push back my graduation date by a year, easy. Possibly two.

Only my current plans-- the ones that say I have to take 9 credits this summer-- don't account for me taking next spring off to go back to China. And they certainly don't account for me also taking off summer semester because I won't get home from China in time to take classes. So I'm already going to have to push back graduation.

Also this summer, I'm really really hoping to get a job and move out. And that would be so much easier if I only had 1 class to work around for now, especially since it wouldn't require me having to wake up too early (a big plus if I get my dream job of being a waitress at TGI Friday's, which would probably have me working a ton of late nights), and my classes wouldn't go too late. I'd be done and back up in Thornton, ready to go to work by 4.

So, I think I'm going to just take analytical this fall. That leaves the calculus for the summer, and then o chem, analytical chem, and some other currently undecided class(es) for this fall. Much better of an option, in my opinion. And this decision makes today a pretty productive day. I cleaned the bathroom downstairs and it looks really fantastic. And, I finished part 2 of Mistborn (not the 2nd book of the trilogy, just the 2nd part of the first book)! Really intriguing story so far.

Well, this is a problem...

The summer school schedule is up, and things don't quite work out according to plan.

I need 3 classes. Analytical chem, analytical chem lab, and calculus 1. I need these classes because I've set up my classes for the rest of my college career rather strategically so that everything just barely all fits together. I need analytical so I can take o chem and intro to criminalistics this fall. I need calculus so I can take p chem this fall. I have to take p chem, o chem and intro to criminalistics this fall so that I can take criminalistics 1 (fall only class) the following fall. Everything times out so that with the classes that are only offered in the fall and the classes that are only offered in the spring, I have created an intricate net that will allow me to still graduate in spring 2015.

If I miss one of my classes, everything else crumbles and I have to push back my graduation date by easily a year.

So. Here's my problem. Analytical + lab + calculus don't quite fit together... Here are my possibilities:

Calculus 1: (4 credits)
John Ethier MTR 10:00-12:15
Larry Johnson MTR 12:30-2:45

Analytical Chem: (3 credits)
Michael Jacobs TR 10:00-12:30

Analytical Lab: (2 credits)
Gary Farmer MW 9:00-12:50
Michael Jacobs TR 1:15-5:00

Bonus, all these teachers have very good scores on ratemyprofessor.com. Un-bonus, no combination of classes works out... Unless I'm missing something obvious and some puzzle-lover wants to offer up a solution, but I'm pretty sure I've looked at everything. The best option I have is analytical with Jacobs (obviously. No getting out of that one), calc with Johnson, and lab with Farmer.

That would have me being no more than like 5 minutes late to calc on TR, but up to 20 minutes late to calc on Mondays... Is there any chance that we think Johnson would be ok with that? Perhaps I should go talk to him. If I can just get this summer semester to work out, then-- I already checked-- my fall classes (o chem+lab, p chem+lab, intro to criminalistics) will work out just fine.

Wish me luck...

But if I get a new car, how will I get my workout in?

Side note about my last blog-- I'm disappointed that more of you didn't tell me how you would have spent a million bucks. Unless Jason is really the only one who reads my blog, in which case this is rather embarrassing...

But anyway. Let me tell you about my adventures on Wednesday.

Before I do that, you should know some things. 1) My school schedule on Mon/Wed starts at 9:30 am and ends at 7:45 pm. I have one class, then a 3+ hour break, and 3 more classes all right in a row. It's not that bad, if I don't have a lot of homework to do between classes, I usually go home. 2) My car is sad. It takes all of 5 miles for it to overheat, and it doesn't go in reverse. It has other problems, but they're pretty minor. This "overheating" thing and the "only goes forward" thing are the big problems it has. And the "only goes forward" thing is the one important to the story today. A lot of people ask me how I get out of parking lots when they find out my car lacks that ability. I drive around until I find a place I can pull through (usually not too difficult, but ensures a far walk) or, if I'm at church or something, I just wait out whoever's parked in front of me. In rare cases, I've pushed my car, usually with the help of some friends.

So on Wednesday, I had a test in my first class-- history-- and I had to buy a Greenbook before class (just a little booklet with a bunch of lined paper to write essays on), so I made sure to get up early enough to catch the bus that would get me to campus about 15 minutes before class started. I managed to hit a bunch of red lights, so I was about to miss the bus, and as I pulled in to the parking lot, I could see it was just pulling up. So I hurried and parked as close as I could and ran up (turns out that wasn't my bus, and the bus driver was running a little late, so I still got to school on time). Well, parking as close as I could means that there was a car in front of mine. Not a problem, actually. I had some homework I needed to do, so I should stay anyway, and by the time I get back to the park-n-ride at night, there's usually only 5 other cars there.

And, if I really wanted to go home, I could just push my car. Done it before.

Well, I took my test (which I think went well, but I really hate essay tests), and I finished about 20 minutes before I would have usually gotten out of class. In my rush to leave in the morning, I didn't bring anything to eat, so I decided with the extra time I had, I could still push my car out of the parking space and head back home for a while. My homework didn't need to be done that day, so I would be fine.

As I'm walking toward my car, I just kept hoping that the car in front of me had already left. Make my life easy. But as I knew deep down, the car was still there. I get into my car and put it in neutral, and I start letting up off the brake. Aaand... I start sliding downhill aka toward the car in front of me.

This is a bit of a pickle. I decided to go ahead and gently love tap the car in front of me and push my car out while it wasn't rolling downhill, but pressed comfortably against the car in front of me. (As I get out and I'm pushing, I had horrible visions of this episode of Grey's Anatomy where someone's legs got pinned in a car crash. I was just really careful.) Oh, and does everyone remember how it was cold and a little snowy out on Wednesday? That made this so much more fun.

After 15-20 minutes of pushing and two people walking past me, I had made it about 6 feet. Something I'm proud of, but it wasn't far enough to actually leave. I sat there thinking... I was really tired. Pushing a car uphill for a period of time is not something I've been training for. Do I want to keep pushing and hopefully make it out eventually? Will I get enough time at home for it to be worth it? Should I just give up and go back to campus?

Unfortunately, I decided to get back in my car and put it back where it originally was. 20 minutes of my life wasted. I sat in my car being cold with wet knees and dirty hands, listening to music while doing some Chinese homework, then caught a bus back to campus. Incidentally, it was the same bus driver that I had earlier. I sat by my physics classroom for an hour waiting for the class before mine to be done, then proceeded on with my day.

Actually, because it was so cold, my Chinese teach let us go 45 minutes early. Told us to go home and eat dinner and be warm. Really cool, right? WRONG. Haha. I had another class an hour after she let us go which I had to stay around for. That's ok, I went up to this candy and soda shop that I've always wanted to go to and bought some Twix. This was the coolest store I've ever been in in my life. Very retro and awesome.

Results of pushing my car: Very sore forearm for the next several hours (which you can really feel when you turn the wheel of your car haha.) and a sore back the next couple days. Made for a kinda fun story, and I got a sure workout in, so I guess it was worth it.

Even still, I will be happy to get a new car. Someday...