I will dream if I want to.

And my death is my own affair.



So I definitely forgot to keep everyone updated on my life decisions. I have the one post talking about my problems and asking for help (thanks to everyone who gave me input, btw! I like not having to face challenges on my own), but then never followed up with what I decided to do.


First, let me just start off with saying, that spring break was last week, and it was wonderful. I originally had great plans to read a lot of books-- I was going to finish Game of Thrones, which I'm borrowing from a friend, and read The Lost Gate-- as well as watch some of my favorite movies-- Footloose, Chocolat. But all that got preempted by school work. Not even school work that's due soon, I was just going to do my outline for the paper I'm writing on GHB, and start reading a book on linguistics of ASL for another paper I need to write in a couple weeks.

And then all of that got preempted, as well, by working. Every day. Except for Friday, the only day I had completely off. And since I didn't have to work or school or any other obligations for just that one day, I decided to sleep, and play WarLight, and look at furniture online.

Anyway, when I took fall semester off, that was all I did then, as well. I worked constantly. I was at the rec center all the time, and I also was teaching anatomy for a few months. And it was a lot of fun, I enjoyed my life then (not to say I don't enjoy it now). But I really loved working all the time and not having to worry about school and due dates and studying, but also not feeling like a bum with nothing productive happening in my life. So it was nice to be able to spend my spring break feeling like that again.

But it sure made me realize how much I miss not being a student. It's alright, though, summer will be here in 5 weeks, plus a few finals.


Moving on to my life decisions, I'm currently trying to get a second job teaching English at DSST. That's the same place I taught anatomy, though if I get the job, they might put me at a different campus. It would be a high school position-- full time-- and I'm super excited for it. I'd get to make my curriculum, which would have to line up with the districts policies and guidelines, but that's fine. My kids will all read Ender's Game, and maybe once the movie comes out on DVD, we'll watch it, too. And then they can write a paper comparing and contrasting the book with the movie!

I actually already have a ton of plans for what kind of assignments I'd want to give them and what sort of books we'd want to read. There's a lot more that would still need to be developed, of course, but that can wait until I get the job. I think I should. I'm qualified for it, and I've worked with them before, and I really love teaching, and I'm an awesome teacher.

So I've applied for that, and I'm waiting for my application to be reviewed, and if I get the job (but I'm really hoping that's more of a when I get the job), I'll be able to afford moving out on my own! I would move to Broomfield, and I would be able to afford a fancy apartment, and it would be lovely.

While I'm teaching English, I would keep my job at the rec center, but my boss would probably let me go down to one day a week (especially if I picked up some more shifts during school breaks, which is when we get really busy anyway). And I'm still going to be taking a night/evening class (maybe two next spring, but definitely just the one class for fall) so that way I don't lose my standing at school, and I'll slowly-- really really slowly-- earn my degree.

If I don't get this job, then I'll take some classes this fall, but it'll be a lighter load anyway. Probably only 3 or 4 classes. I'll keep working only at the rec center, and move out to a less fancy apartment with a roommate or two. And I'll try reapplying for future English teaching jobs at DSST, because I paid a lot of money to take my Praxis, and I don't want it to go to waste.


As far as what my degree would be, this is actually my third time writing this ending because I changed my mind a couple times. This answer is even different from what I told Chaelomen not two days ago when he asked me, I realized that I think chemistry and physics is really interesting, and I love learning it, but it's always something I've been more interested in when I'm just talking to Chaelomen or my other science friends. I always like learning about criminalistics (which unfortunately isn't offered as its own major at Metro, otherwise I'd be allll over that), but the strictly science-y part has always been most interesting to me when it was something I could take for fun.

Not that I want to completely give up chemistry and physics, and I'm not actually 100% yet, so I might not give up chemistry at all, but I think I'm leaning toward majoring in linguistics with a double minor in criminalistics and psychology, plus taking a chemistry or physics class each semester just for fun. There's a really cool physics of music class I would want to take, and since I'll have all the prereqs for it I would also definitely take survey of p chem. You know, just whatever sounded interesting.

I definitely want to clarify that this isn't something I decided to change so that I would have an easier degree. Maybe it started that way, but I think that's why I was so conflicted about changing. I was trying to convince myself it would be a good idea to change something I loved and found a little challenging (chemistry) for something I liked alright and found easy (modern languages). The degree of my excitement was decreased, and coupling that with how much easier it would be made me feel like a sell-out. But linguistics isn't like that. I looked at all the classes that are offered for the degree there, and they're all super interesting for me. Latin, syntax, semantics.  I once spent like three hours on a Saturday morning trying to figure out the rules for Eastern Street Slang (a fictional slang that's almost its own language from Mistborn) and working on translating it to English and vice versa. Now, I'd be switching out one thing I love for something else I love. The easiness of it isn't even a consideration anymore.

If I get this job teaching, though, that's going to limit what classes I can take, but at least I'm starting to have a path to follow again. I finally have dreams to pursue.