***Don't forget that I posted twice today! I have another post if you scroll down! Long Live the King! It's the far more entertaining of the two blogs!***
I also have a tl;dr summary for this one: read the bold.
The other week during Sunday school, our teacher Nate pulled this action figure out of his suit pocket and called him Heresy Hank and started saying something things that he (Nate) believes but that might not be strictly doctrine. Almost every week since, Nate will pull Heresy Hank out at some point to share with us some theoretical or philosophical thing about whatever we're studying, which is the old testament this year. Is that supposed to be capitalized? Old Testament? Ha, idk. I'm keeping it. This week, Nate didn't wear a suit (he wore a sweater with a tiny penguin on it because it was a rainy day) and so we didn't have Heresy Hank.
But here's the thing. I don't really think I like studying the Bible. I think I kinda hate it.
I did seminary all 4 years, and I actually thought it was just the New Testament I didn't like. That was the year I ditched seminary the most (junior year, when I first got my car). I actually had to do a ton of makeup work so I could still pass seminary, but I did all the makeup work the next year on the BOM. But I really didn't like studying the New Testament. I didn't like the way Christ was portrayed. We're taught that he's all loving and everything, but it seems like he says some really harsh and not at all loving things. And I wasn't the only one with this concern in my class, but the teacher just kinda had no idea what we were talking about. It was weird. I actually struggled with that for a good 2-3 years until I talked to the missionaries in the branch about it. But even still, I try to not read too much out of the New Testament.
However, I loved studying the Old Testament in seminary. It was awesome. I loved my teacher. But when I really think about it, I remember that we didn't quite study the Old Testament specifically. We studied the nice uplifting ideas in the Old Testament, but we didn't dig into the stories themselves too much. And I thought that was just because my teacher liked to think deeply and wanted us to have an easier time applying the lessons from the stories to our lives. But I really hate Sunday school this year. This is the first time I've studied the Old Testament since sophomore year of high school, and it makes me wonder if maybe our seminary teacher didn't teach us the stories (but the lessons) because the stories are terrible.
I just don't understand. I'm having a hard time with this one. Right now we're in Exodus and Leviticus and Numbers talking about the children of Israel being lost in the wilderness and all that. Today we specifically talked about that time when they had been eating manna forever and they were getting sick of it, so they asked Moses and God if they could perhaps have a different miracle and have some meat, maybe? So God-- to quote Nate-- gets pissed off and gives them more meat than they could want until they're sick and they want to die. The actual passage I read was in Numbers, and it was also talking about how Moses is like, "Look God, I can't do this alone. I can't bear this and lead these people by myself. I need help," and God replies with, "Fine. Fine. Go get some people together, and I'll give them the same priesthood you have, and then you're all going to sit here and eat meat-- not for one day, not two, not five, but a whole month until you're so sick of it that's it's coming out of your nose. That's what you get for not appreciating the manna you've been blessed with already."
Am I making this up? No. This is literally what the bible says (I might have made it a little more modern, but seriously. God says they will eat meat until it's coming out of their nostrils.)
As we finish this, Nate asks us what our thoughts are. A couple people shared about something or other and somehow made this story uplifting, but that's just not how I see it. This story is vindictive. It's bitter. This is a terrible god. And so I rose my hand and asked about this. Because this is not a god I want to worship or study; this is something I want to be corrected about. I want someone to tell me that I'm forgetting something or interpreting it wrong or something, because this is just not sitting with me.
What Nate tells us is that we should remember that in this story, we're supposed to be identifying with the children of Israel. It's good to look to Moses for guidance and whatever, but we need to remember that we're imperfect beings and we should be taking lessons from the ones who are struggling this whole time. I can totally do that. Let's take a scenario.
I've been enslaved in Egypt my whole life. I was just freed by Moses, and I'm grateful to him and God for that, but now we're wondering in the wilderness. And to make it so we won't die of starvation, we've got this heaven bread raining down on us all the time to keep us alive. Which is awesome. But after a while, I could totally see being sick of the manna and just wanting something else. I can imagine praying and being all, "Hey God, listen. Thanks for the manna that keeps me alive. But the thing is, it's getting old. Could I possibly have a different miracle for a little while?" I cannot imagine why that should offend God to the point that he's now going to punish us with more meat than is healthy.
And that's about where Nate cuts me off to remind me that the reason they're wondering in the wilderness and suffering at all is because they were offered the promise land and exaltation and great things, and they rejected it. (So, obviously, they must eat meat until they die.) And this is something else that the class can't understand. Why would they reject exaltation? Well. I don't know. But I know I've done it before. Sorta. To quote a blog I wrote like two weeks ago, "when my testimony was at its strongest, I saw that and recognized it, and rejected it and not two months later my testimony was at its lowest. At the time, it didn't feel right." So. Ok. I still don't know why I was all spiritual and happy and suddenly I didn't want that. But I didn't want it. So I don't blame or fault the Children of Israel for backing out, themselves.
But even if they are to blame for that, does that in any way justify the terrible things that God makes them go through? I really don't think it does. It's not fair. I know that God lets us go through trials because it'll make us stronger, but that's not what's happening here. God is pissed off at them for not wanting to eat manna exclusively. He's vindictive. It would have been fair to say, "You don't want this exaltation? Fine. You can't have it, you have to wonder until you're prepared for it." But anything beyond that isn't right.
This doesn't make sense to me. The only thing they're really guilty of that I can find is being really whiny, but this seems like overkill for that... And that's all I got for an answer in Sunday school-- which made me feel really fantastic, btw.
I mean, I've done similar thing to God right now while babysitting. The kids won't eat dinner, so I get mad at them and tell them no they can't watch TV, no they can't play outside, no they can't do anything but go to bed (I don't think I've ever done this specifically, but that's not super important). What I"m doing at that point is punishing the child. And that is so wrong. If the kids won't eat dinner, then they go without food until they change their mind. But that's the consequence, not the punishment. They don't need to be punished. They just need the consequences of their actions. And usually I'll realize I'm out of line and then I let the kids watch their movie or whatever. So if I can realize that, why wouldn't God? We have the whole story in the Bible. This isn't something where "we don't know why, but it's helpful." We have the entire picture here, and it's not a hopeful picture. It's a God of War picture.
Blah.
But here's more to why this all bothers me so much. Not only are we learning that God is like this, but we're also simultaneously being taught that he's a loving God and that he the same now as he was then. So, not even a full hour later, during relief society, I'm being taught that God loves us all and is so good and just wants us to be happy-- this coming from the same mouths of people who were defending his actions in the Sunday school story. It just doesn't match up. God cannot be loving to everyone, spiteful to the Children of Israel, and the same today as he was yesterday. Those three things are not working out logically (or spiritually, intuitively, anything) in my head. And despite my rejection of my testimony a couple years ago, I don't think God loves me any less. You know? He still wants me to be happy, he's not forcing me to eat meat until I want to die. That's what I've seen personally in my life. Just, wtf am I learning right now? I might stop going to Sunday school until we're done with the Bible. I can go back to Gospel Principles.
tl;dr? Basically, what this all comes down to is this: the God in the Bible is not the God I'm familiar with and know. And it's not someone I want to--or will--worship. I don't believe they're the same deity. But if I'm being told that they're the same at church, how do I make peace with that conflict?
10 comments:
These are very interesting points. The only thing that came to mind was perhaps there are translating issues? Ha. And I've noticed sort of the same tone in D&C as well.
Have you? That's interesting. I guess I actually never really had the habit of reading my scriptures lol. Book of Mormon was the only year I was actually paying attention in seminary, so that's the one I know best. And most of the think that's more a story about the people and studying them.
I always had a problem with the spiteful God image portrayed also. I'm not sure where this comes from, the God that I know and worship is a kind father. The God portrayed often times in the Old Testament seems more like a petulant two-year-old. It seems like there are times the God in the Old Testament is exhibiting behavior we are told to avoid. I'll have to ask dad how exactly this is justified. He always seems to have answers that work for me.
You'll have to let me know what he says.
First comment: the Bible is written in a "foreign" language. You speak 21st century English; the Book of Mormon was translated into late 18th/19th century English. It's easier to understand.
I really like the book of John. That could have something to do with taking Greek 101 and 102 during my freshman year at BYU. We were piloting a new course that used John as the text. In a year we made it to John 8. John writes with a dry sense of humor (At least I read it that way). There's a lot that is on multiple levels. There are also a number of mistranslations and material that was added that does not appear to be part of the original text included in the Kin James English, so it takes a bit more wading to get there. The more you read it, however, the more you become attuned to the foreign language.
Comment #2: The Lord speaks to us in terms that we can understand. If we don't get the message, we can't repent. Jesus spoke in parables: much of what he said came across to the crowd he was speaking to as a good story. Frequently his condemnation of others went over their head. Those that were listening got the message; those that weren't prepared to hear the message were saved from the condemnation of failing to heed a message that they couldn't understand.
Comment #3: The Old Testament is not only written in a foreign language (15th Century English), but in a style that is different from The Book of Mormon. Once you've read the Old Testament 2 or 3 times, the language itself becomes clearer, but the cultural references are still foreign. Also The Book of Mormon is a lot more in your face with the prophetic judgements of this is good, this is bad... The Old Testament frequently tells a story, but doesn't make a judgment as to whether the resulting action is evil or not. You have to work harder to get the message.
Comment #4: The Children of Israel were a bunch of brats... at least from the perspective of history and the story as presented in the Bible. Consider the Exodus: there are numerous failed attempts to get Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave to worship (which is part of the overall miracle, so I'm not complaining), but when they get to the Red Sea, they're all complaints of "why did you bring us here to die?" - crossing the Red Sea on dry land? Egyptians drowning? pillar of light/smoke to guide them? what do they say? "It would be better if we'd stayed in Egypt!"
I wonder what obvious signs that we miss that future generations will write about. How could they not have seen ...?
The Sunday School lessons don't do justice to the content of the Old Testament. They are less than the Reader's Digest condensed version.
The story that you referred to (Numbers 11) leaves a lot of questions: The people are complaining that the Lord brought them out of Egypt. Moses is complaining that he has to take care of the Israelites. The Israelites are complaining that the have no meat. The Lord tells Moses that they will have meat for a month. Moses doubts where that much meat can come from. So, the Lord shows them all. I have trouble imagining quail 2 cubits (3 feet deep) for miles around the camp. 1)that's a lot of quail, 2)that's got to be a lot of stink after just a few days, 3)I'm glad that I wasn't there, but if I were a fly on the wall, I'm sure I wouldn't be the only fly there, 4)how much do you need to provoke the Lord before he gives you what you ask for, whether it's good for you or not?
Reply 1: That's interesting about the different language thing. It kinda reminds me of when I would study Shakespeare in class, but when I did that, I had a teacher telling me what things meant in modern language, as well as the book giving me translations. I don't think I would have ever completely gotten it if I was studying it myself.
Reply 2: That's cool and I understand it and everything, but that's not the problem I had with how Christ is portrayed. Christ straight up said some mean things to his people occasionally, and I didn't like that. But I don't have a problem with how the missionaries explained his words to me.
Reply 3: If the Old Testament doesn't actually say that the message is evil or not, how do we have the lessons we do? I think it's a really interesting set of stories and I like studying it from a secular point, I would be interested in taking a Bible as Literature class, but only really in the same way as I did anything with my Great Books class. And I learned some really interesting things in that class and we found some really cool morals, but I think it's different in Sunday School, where we're not critiquing the story at all, just taking it as it is.
Comment 4: I don't know, I don't think that really helped me come to terms with the story. I know that the children of Israel are obnoxious in the Bible. I understand that. They complain a lot. But I don't like the idea of God punishing them so much for all that. If I had a child that was being really whiny and annoying, I wouldn't take my wrath out upon said child. I would leave them alone until we both calmed down a bit (provided they're old enough to be left to their own devices and not do anything really dangerous, like play with outlets or something. and since the child is currently being compared to humans, I think that's a fair thing to assume).
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