We have to go. I'm almost happy here.

The other day, Mandy Anna and I were going to get our hair washed, and on the way, Anna and Mandy were talking. I wasn't really listening (sorry guys), but I heard Anna say something about how, although it didn't feel like it, this was one of the last times we would ever get out hair washed. Unless we come back to China, obviously.

(PS. Don't know if I mentioned it, but going to get your hair washed sounds super lame, right? I mean, just wash your own hair, how lazy are you. But no! It's comes with a half hour to forty five minute scalp massage, then they give you a back massage for 10-15 minutes! All this for only 10-15 rmb:: $1.50-2!)

And she really nailed it right on the head. I leave China in 12 days (and I leave Zhongshan in 10 or maybe 11), and I might not ever come back. Maybe I'll come back for a vacation sometime down the line, and maybe I'll come back with ILP as a head teacher, but even then I can pretty much guarantee I won't be in Nanlang. What she said really got me thinking about the things I want to make sure to do before we go. There's only three concrete things that are really essential on my list, so it's pretty much guaranteed I'll be able to do them, but it's still a really sobering thought to think, "I have to do this next [Thursday], or I'll never be able to again."

And that train of thought led me to (1-) one of the most sad thoughts I've ever had, and (2-) try to find what it is that I'll miss most about being in China.

1- You know how sometimes, you think about a conversation you might have with someone in your head? :) And it's usually either something you wish you would have said two hours ago when you actually had the conversation because, now that you've had a couple hours to consider what they said, you have a perfect comeback or response. Or, if that's not the case, it's a future conversation you'll probably never have, because the other person just won't follow the script you laid out for them. Well, call me crazy (no, really. You can probably call me crazy for this), but I had a one of the future conversations in my head with myself. It would happen in about two weeks and it goes like this: "Hey, wanna go get some noodles and dumplings down the street?" "Yeah!" "Well too bad! You can't! Because you're not in China anymore, you're in America!"

It was really sad to think of that. There are so many things that are awesome about China. It's a gorgeous country, and the people here are so kind. There's literally a little jungle right across the street from our apartment complex. In our little town, the crazy markets are only about 5 minutes from the quiet, serene landscapes. The trees everywhere are so beautiful. It's so green here. There's a giant pond/little lake right here in town (which we didn't find until about 2 or 3 weeks ago). Adventures are always waiting. And it's China. Come on. If you take a quick motorbike ride, you can visit some Chinese temples with incense, Buddha statues, statues of other important people, the classic Chinese architecture. Then, I can't even describe the beautiful views we've seen at parks on on vacation (but don't fear, I have pictures). I imagine this is why most people love China.

2- And I love China for those reasons, too. But I won't be sad to leave that. The stunning views that are everywhere are great, and I love being surrounded by them. It's always beautiful. But there's plenty of places back home that beautiful, too. I've seen many gorgeous scenes back in my hometown. And the classic Chinese look is something that, now that I've seen it personally, I feel like that's kinda the end. I don't need to be surrounded by it all the time. I can look back at my pictures and say, "I've seen that in person, and it was awesome." And that's it. What I'll really miss about China is the people.

They're loud. They won't hesitate to sneeze on you. They stare at you openly, sometimes stopping dead in their tracks so they can watch you walk down the street. They eat strangely. They freak out if it starts drizzling outside. They have some bizarre medical ideas and superstitions. But they're awesome. They're extremely friendly. They go far out of their way to make you feel welcome. They're honest. And they're usually pretty good about playing charades if you don't know how to say it in Chinese, and they don't know how to say it in English.

I love being here. Although the beauty and history of the country itself is wonderful, I'm not afraid to leave that behind. Been there before, already done that. But the kids at school (not just our own students) who get excited to see us and shout our names, the motorbike drivers who always know where we want to go, the lady in the back of the store who knows what I get every time, the noodle guy who doesn't ask what we want anymore but instead asks how many of this dish we want, the girls at the ghetto salon that try to teach us random words in Chinese, the teachers who always smile at us, that random couple with one of the only pet dogs I've ever seen... I recognize all of them. And somehow, even though there's a GIANT language barrier separating us, we've managed to dig deeper than words and become friends anyway. I love them.

The worst part is that I don't even know how to tell them that this is the last time I'll see them.

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the three things I want to do before I leave. They're all pictures I want. I want a picture with the older kids at school (ages 5 and 6). I want a picture with the awesome noodle guy. I want a picture with all the people at this one ghetto salon.