I love China. Really. I loved it the first 3 months I was here, but it was different. I loved being here, but I was also cool with the prospect of going home and getting back to the "real world." I used to describe it to people in terms of a percentage. I was split 60-40 for Staying In China-Going Home. There wasn't much that was keeping me tied to one place over the other.
Don't get me wrong, though. Under no circumstances was I unhappy with being in China. I loved my kids, I loved teaching, I loved the food. I sometimes loved my roommates (HA. Sorry guys, I'm just kidding. I always love you). But I also loved my life back in Colorado. I loved going to school, I loved my family, I loved my friends, I loved the cold.
Don't get me wrong, though. Under no circumstances was I unhappy with being in China. I loved my kids, I loved teaching, I loved the food. I sometimes loved my roommates (HA. Sorry guys, I'm just kidding. I always love you). But I also loved my life back in Colorado. I loved going to school, I loved my family, I loved my friends, I loved the cold.
I'm not really sure what it was that changed, either. But something happened over the last weekend, when we were in Beijing, and it clicked. I was 100% contended to be in China. Honestly, I feel like I could stay here forever and be happy. But I can't. I have to go home in 4 weeks.
I love all you guys back home. I do. But I'm not excited to leave. I'm excited to come give everyone presents and to see everyone again and start up school (I'm really really excited for my classes this spring), but I have a life here in China, and I don't want it to end. Sad.
2 comments:
I knew it would be really difficult for you to come home. But the thing is, the only way for you not feel the pain was to not go in the first place. Better to feel the pain and the love, right?
Of course, that's always the better option. :)
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