It stresses me out.
Sometimes, both before I left and occasionally now, I stop and I think about going to/ living in China, and I wonder how I got myself into this mess. Let's look at the factors.
Kids. They stress me out. I don't have fond memories of most of the kids I babysit. There's a couple *exceptions, sure. But mostly, I don't like being around kids. All the girls here, as we're walking through the school, keep going on and on, "Look at him/her! He/she is SO CUTE!" and I look at them, and if they're lucky, then whatever they were doing was mildly amusing. But mostly, it's just another kid. Nothing particularly cute about it, it's just a smaller version of a person. A needy person. Who won't pay attention to me unless I'm being unnaturally animated. Which brings me to the next point.
Teaching. It stresses me out. I'm not very good at thinking on my feet, apparently. I can't think of a dozen different things to say about a fork without notice. I can't think of outdoor activities to do on the spot. When you plan your lesson, you're supposed to plan activities to do. Like, we'll cut up the paper, and we'll tear the paper, and we'll organize the paper into big pieces and little pieces. Then while you teach, you're supposed to focus on what you'll say. And that "what I'll say" part is really hard for me. There are long pauses in my teaching of silence. Which is bad for having the kids learn/practicing speaking. And it's also bad for keeping their attention. Apparently kids zone out if I'm quiet too long, and once they've gone off in their head, it's hard to get their attention back.
Distractions. They stress me out. Like, when I'm teaching a lesson, and the kids get distracted by something else in the book. I'm trying to focus on the Belle's horse, but they keep pointing at the wolves' eyes. What are they doing? They're messing with my lesson plan! I already had something going I wanted to say about the horse, but I didn't prepare for anything regarding the wolves. Or we have these tokens we give them when they say something we want them to say, but those tokens spill out of the token bags, and they all have to stop to pick up the tokens, and then class hasn't gone according to plan. Wah!!
It's mostly just the ILP program that stresses me out. And only sometimes. Sometimes I'm really excited for my lessons, and I do think several of the kids are really awesome, but it would appear that I like the trouble makers best. I'm just a backwards person. There's this one kid- Dave- I think he's one of the coolest kids in the group (unfortunately, he's just a trial student for now, so we might not get to keep him all semester). The other teachers think he's smart and everything, but they think he's a trouble maker and therefore they have a hard time with him. The other teachers all like William the best. They think he's adorable, and they love the way he mumbles when he repeats you. And he actually bothers me a bit. I don't know what they think is so cute about him, besides the fact that he's Chinese. Because he never pays attention when we're outside, and he doesn't seem to be making a real effort to learn English. But he's here all semester, and Dave, who actually appears interested in what's going on, might be gone after this week. Lame.
Also. Laundry here sucks. A lot. I'll do a load, and I know it's clean because I put in a TON of soap, and I'll hang it up to dry (we don't have dryers, we line-dry everything) and when I take it all down the next day or whatever, it still smells bad. Not in the same way as before I put it in the washer, but bad none the less. :(
These moments of doubt about "How did I get myself into this mess?" tend to go by pretty quick. I have an easy teaching life, and I love living here China. It's been a lot of fun, and I LOVE the markets. My roommates are all pretty cool. It's been fun. Generally, we can ignore the rantings of this post, because I love being here. But when I get stressed out, I get stressed out hardcore.
*of course, MJ+Chaelomen's kids, Frik+Carebear's kids (except Squirt sometimes), Berserk's kids, and probably Shinobi+Guildylock's kids all don't stress me out. I like them :) And the girls who used to live across the street. They were good. But I babysit a lot, and most of the kids drive me insane.
8 comments:
The markets are totally awesome! We never had to do laundry, since we were only there a week. It sounds kind of like doing laundry in Germany, though. I hope Dave gets to stay in the class, especially because he has excellent choice in names.
So first of all, kids aren't just small, needy adults. They are very different. They think differently and talk differently and have different interests and needs... Think about how a kid will watch the same movie dozens of times, for starters. An adult gets bored long before then, but the kids enjoy knowing exactly what's coming next and seeing the same thing play out over and over.
You don't have to think before hand about what to say about a fork, just think about what kind of things you will say about everything: color, shape, size, what it reminds you of (ex: look at this fork. It is silver colored and very shiny. It's about as long as my hand but not as wide. It has 4 tines. The tines are very poky so they can pick up your food. The tines almost look like little fingers on the end of the fork... blah blah blah) Then when they get distracted and start asking about the spoon instead, you already know what to say (just start talking about the spoons color, shape, size, and what it reminds you of instead).
In order to keep their attention, you're gonna have to be flexible. You can ignore what they say and turn the lesson back to what you had planned, but if they really want to talk about the wolf's eyes, then maybe let them talk about the wolf's eyes for a minute and then move on to the horse. You may not be able to spend as much time on the things you planned, but that's ok. It's better to have too much prepared than not enough.
One thing that you have going for you is that kids are naturally inquisitive and curious. If you can find interesting things for them (even though what they find interesting may not be what you find interesting) then you should be able to engage them and have good lessons.
Also... "Frik+Carebear's kids (except Squirt sometimes)"... Ouch.
There are a LOT of people who don't immediately adore kids. A LOT. Me for one. I adore MY kids. I adore my GRANDKIDS. I TOLERATE other people's kids unless there are special circumstances. (Caleb, for instance, or the child of a very good friend, or a dear relative.) Other than that, though, other people's kids can be very... well, annoying, and I have to remind myself to be nice. You are not alone in not immediately adoring them.
Sometimes after I get to know them, I like them or even grow to love them. You may not love the kids at first glance, but you are capable of hiding your annoyance towards them, and that's all that matters at this point.
As for the class stuff, the reason you are stressed out is because you have never really been one to babble on about things. You have always said what you want to say and then you stop. Not only that, but you've grown up in a house where most of us have a pretty good vocabulary; we don't use twelve sentences when one sentence and a raised eyebrow will do. No wonder you're stressed. But it will come, with a little practice. You've been at it only a short time and it'll get to be much easier for you. And rolling with the punches (the kids changing the subject) will become second nature as well. It doesn't mean you'll turn into a chatterbox for the rest of your life, but you'll handle the teaching assignment just fine.
As for liking the difficult kid best, LOTS of teachers do. Totally normal. You've heard the phrase, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." It doesn't mean you're backwards, it probably means you like a challenge and you want to see the troubled kids reach their potential. Maybe you're wondering why the kid is acting out, wondering if there's something wrong at home, whatever. And maybe you look at the kid everyone else likes and see a little suck-up. :)
(Part two of my reply in the next post, apparently *I* have no trouble babbling...)
Laundry: How humid is it over there? Pretty bad? How wet is your laundry when you hang it? I'm wondering if the washer is spinning much of the water out when you hang it to dry. If it's really humid and your laundry is really wet and taking too long to dry, then what you're smelling is probably a touch of mildew.
My guess is that your weather is too wet to hang the clothes outside, where the sun could kill the mildew spores, so the only other way to combat that is to put just a TOUCH of bleach in your rinse water to kill all traces of the mildew spores. You would have to actually be in your apartment during the wash cycle in order to do that, and it'll be a lot easier if you have a top loading washer. Get a cup or so of water, add about 1/4 cup bleach, wait till the final rinse water has filled the machine, and then add your bleach/water mixture. The amount of bleach in the mixture isn't enough to take out any color, but it's enough to kill any mildew spores and odor. From that point, let the washer finish the load as usual, hang the clothes to dry, and make sure they dry thoroughly. You will notice that your clothes smell a LOT better, not like softener or anything, but not mildewy or sour either. Just clean. This is about the same amount of bleach that restaurants have to use in their final rinse if they are hand washing their dishes instead of using a dishwasher.
If you have a front loading washer, you will need to use the same amount of bleach but you will need to dilute it with a lot more water because you won't be able to let the washer fill before you add it to the final rinse. Add your half cup of bleach to about a gallon of water, put it in the washer, and then close the door and let the machine finish the load as usual.
Last but not least, if you were stressed by Squirt, you need to keep in mind that you have only been around her for long periods of time when she was 1) surrounded by a lot of people and off her regular schedule due to traveling to our house from hers and 2) most of the time when she has come for a visit she has ended up at the ER either during or the day she returned home so she was pretty sick. Kids deserve to be cut some slack when they're that sick. Also, she is a little girl and you are TOTALLY used to little boys.
Love you.
Mom
Shinobi- Today our school coordinator was asking what I thought about Dave and Donny, so I told her that I think they're really smart and show a lot of potential, so she said she'd talk to their parents and hopefully they'll be persuaded to keep their kids in the program.
Carolyn- I understand that they think differently and have different things they like for their development (repetitive tasks like watching movies over and over), but it's really hard to remember that when I'm face to face with them and I have to be around them constantly.
And thanks for the advise about what to say about the objects. It's all very similar advise to what my head teacher told me, but it's good to hear it again.
And about Squirt? haha. She doesn't always stress me out. I think she' super adorable a lot of the time, but like when you guys come to visit and you've just been driving, she stresses me out then. Which is understandable because she's pretty stressed out herself. Or when she threw those keys at me. :( Most of the time, though, I think she's really awesome.
Mom- I'm glad to hear that I'm at least as normal as you are :) For the laundry, we have a top-loading washer, so if I can figure out when the last rinse is (it's all in Chinese, so it's confusing), I'll try the bleach thing. We hang our clothes up outside, but the sun doesn't actually hit them. The only place we have to hang them is in the shade of our balcony.
You'll get used to thinking on your feet when you teach. Not that it's the same (especially since I don't teach very often), but the first few times I walked someone through a searching technique it was very awkward for me. That smooths out with a little experience.
Glad you're having a good time!
If you can't figure out the last rinse go ahead and add a little bleach to the main wash. You'll need to use a smidge more, and do NOT add it directly onto the fabric. Dilute it or let the machine fill with water and then add the soap and bleach and THEN add the clothes. Use about half a cup of bleach to a load. (Unless it's whites. Use a whole cup for a load then, especially a large load. But still, it'll be easier on the fabric if you add it to the water and let it dilute and then add the clothes.)
Love you!
Mom
Thanks Jason! :)
And thanks mom, I'll try it next time I do a load :) I'll let you know how it turns out.
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